Some notes from my new 'mid-life'.

It’s that time of my life when I just thought things were moving smooth and I was happy go lucky, suddenly something bad happens and it strikes a blow at you 10 times worse than anything you have ever experienced. 

After my husband survived a massive stroke, I begin to believe in second chances. He is alive because of luck, his strong will to live plus his excellent critical thinking.  All you to do is try real hard and believe in yourself and you will definitely get a second chance for revival.

I fight with August, each year, that’s around when most bad things happened, the battle becomes fiercer and I become stronger. 

Somehow the middle of the year for last few years has been depressing and disturbing me mentally and challenging psychologically.  I have only become stronger, wiser and more tolerant as I won each battle. Thanks to amazing self (I ought to give that much credit, because I have been surprising myself with my ability to withstand, swim through and survive various predicaments. Have I really won? Or Have I let time heal the wound? Hmm that’s a whole different story. Thanks to my entire group of god sent angels - Vj, Bhuvi, friends and family. I am blessed.

The last 10 days have aged me 10 years! I was told I look like in my twenties and haven’t aged a bit but people who met him off late can easily tell I look old, worn out, distressed. It has been crazy few days running around hospitals, doctors, counsellors, family, work and making sure my husband is getting healthy and better.

The stress, the sleepless nights, the worrisome days and my incessant care for my little one put ‘me’ last on my priority list. And, it shows, on my face, my knees, skin and hair.

I am glad it’s all over and we are tracing our steps back to normalcy, slowly yet surely. VJ is on cardiac rehab and rest for the next few weeks and strict diet/exercise and medicines routine for the rest of his life.

It’s a major revelation, a call for a lifestyle change and a wake-up alarm for everyone his age. Time to recognize the importance of work-life balance and implement ways to fulfil it. Do not take the statutory warnings for granted. Be aware, be responsible, stay healthy and spread the right spirit. 

The life for me seems to be moving in slow motion with a remote control of its own. And, I am taking things as they come. I thought I did that before too, but now I see a profound difference in myself. I am a bit more unperturbed by day to day trivial things, more immune to negativity, more tolerant and a bit more cheerful than ever. All this without yoga, meditation or art of living classes, hehe… I am lucky to have been an efficient self-counsellor.  There were hurdles every step, tears and screams and alarming levels of anger but I did find ways to vent out the insanity and get back to serenity. There is lots to improve and million different things to learn, I am getting finer each day.

Is this mid-life crisis, when one becomes conscious of self, sense and sensibility? Because a decade and half ago I didn’t have the worries, apprehensions, commitments, obligations to stand by, more than half of the unwanted worldly wisdom and the distressed memory space in my brain.

I must admit I am not a teenager or the young lady anymore. Because I feel have seen, felt, experienced, been there and done so much. I find pleasure in simple things of life, bliss in being unpretentious, appreciate the beauty skin-deep and believe nothing is ever perfect which is why the life keeps going. Because nothing is perfect, Life is a quest to improve and improvise.

Happy living in all good health!